Want to get better at moving towards what you want?

​In her book Thank and Grow Rich, Pam Grout tells a story about taking surfing lessons while on holiday. During the lesson the instructor tells her repeatedly to ‘focus on the beach’ (as opposed to responding to her concerns about ending up on the rocks), because, he said, the surfboard will always head towards where you are looking so if you are focused on the rocks that’s undoubtedly where you will end up!

Grout goes on to talk about how she has applied this lesson to her daily life and the goals she is wanting to achieve. When she focuses on the beach (aka - where she wants to get to and the benefits of getting there) she ends up with a more positive state of mind and generally much better outcomes.
 
So what do these thoughts tend to look like in relation to goals or things you might be considering changing?
 
The Rocks

You might end up thinking things like: 
​

• I don’t know how to do this.
• I don’t really think its possible.
• I’d just be wasting my time and money.
• Everything will go badly.
• What if I make a mistake?
• If I do this I’m going to fail.
• What if I try this and people laugh at me.
• What if I’m no good at it?
• This bad thing happened to me in the past. What if it happens again?  

 
Or the Beach
​

• What if I try this and it goes really well!
• How great will it be to be doing something I really enjoy!
• What if I end up really liking it and it leads to other things?
• What if it makes me feel awesome!
• What if I learn something I couldn’t possibly have learnt any other way?
• How good would it feel to really achieve this change?
• What if I could work out some great ways to make this work?
• What if ………………………………………..........................................................................………………………….

(now it’s your turn to fill in the blank with some positive phrases you can create for your own experience and what you want to achieve or change in your life).


As you read through the different statements above, notice how they make you feel and which ones make you feel better? The ones listed for the rocks, or the beach?


​Moving forward

As you look to the year ahead and the changes you would like to create in your life, keep thinking about how you can frame it so you are focused on what you want and where you want to get to. At the very least you get to spend time thinking about things that make you feel great!

Karen Northey 
Counsellor (Trauma informed) 
EFT Practitioner 
Social Worker
Website: www.connexionscounselling.com
Email: info@connexionscounselling.com

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