Do you feel like you haven’t made the right choices for yourself or others in the past? Do you wish you could go back and do things differently? Is the fear of making a wrong decision stopping you from moving forward?
It is normal to reflect on how things were or might have been. That is often how we change the course of our lives in moving forward. It informs how we want to do things differently. But when you are caught up in a feeling of regret or fear of making another ‘wrong’ choice it can stall you in moving forward.
As well as reflecting on the things you wish you could have done differently, are you able to recognise the good choices you have made at different times in your life? I’m sure there are many times you have made decisions that led to positive outcomes.
Unfortunately, instead of cherishing how far we’ve come we tend to focus on what we could have done better.
At these times it can be useful to think about actions we have taken that led to good or even fantastic outcomes!
The reality is that every day we need to make choices. Some of them might feel better than others but we are always making choices based on where we are at right now.
We are all doing the best we can do with the resources we have available to us.
If you look back and wish you had done things differently, remember you were a different person at that time. You were younger for a start. Which means you very likely didn’t know as much as you do now. And your available resources will continue to change over time. You will get different information and new ideas. You will be exposed to different situations that create a different perspective and have different people show up in your life. This creates increased capacity to do things differently to what you did one week ago, one month ago, three years ago and so on.
If you are struggling to make certain decisions, then take steps to expand your resources. Learn new information. Meet new people. Take courses. Get support from a counsellor or coach to sound out and explore your options. Get to know people you wouldn’t normally mix with and gain different ideas and perspectives.
Most of all be kind to yourself. You are doing the best you can.